Anxiety almost killed me…

For 8 years I have suffered with severe anxiety and extreme panic attacks.

During that time I have been hiding my pain from my family, friends and even my partner. I have become a master of disguise, pretending that I am ok and not letting anyone know what I was going through. Inside I was crying for help.

Being embarrassed, ashamed and not knowing how to ask for help I tried to medicate myself with huge amounts of alcohol and prescription medication.

This lead me to substance abuse, almost complete self-destruction and near suicide… I’ve smashed my face on that proverbial rock bottom.

After I admitted to myself that I couldn’t function without drowning my anxiety in huge amounts of alcohol, I have realised that I had to take responsibility and change something or this will not end well.

I have plucked up enough courage to go to the hospital and ask for help still half drunk. I imagined that I will be welcomed with open hands, get to stay for a few days, get some IV drips to help me feel better and I will live happily ever after. I soon realised that it was only my fantasy.

That moment will stay with me forever, when I walked behind a nurse through a long, dark hallway from ER to the psych ward. It was then that I have decided that if I get through this alive, I never wanted to be in the same situation again.

The next day my long journey to recovery begun. I started putting my life together and it was the hardest thing that I have ever done.

It was a long path of extreme honesty, facing my fears, self-discovery and personal development.

As challenging and painful the road to recovery was, it has led me to the best moments of my life.

I have met a lot of amazing people, become a life coach, speaker, facilitator and trainer, had an opportunity to be in a few press articles, record multiple podcasts, have my own radio show and write a short book about my experience. I had a chance to create a new, better life that I had never believed was possible.

Now my focus is on educating people about mental health to eliminate the stigma around this subject, give people tools to help each other and make the conversation about mental health less awkward. Through my mental health first aider courses, talks and social media content I want to contribute towards improving our mental wellbeing at the workplace and in our private lives.

I also want to help people realise that no matter what you are going through at the moment, you can create a better life for yourself. Being really honest with yourself, prioritising self-care, having healthy boundaries and connecting with the right people will help you on this journey.

It all begins with how you choose to think.